If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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