I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i've created a new STD.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
