Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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