with your own penis?
I'm really into asian looking animals
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
