he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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