I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize