I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
