I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
