We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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