maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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