I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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