think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
