hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
