Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
