South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
worst night to have a conscience
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
