If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize