Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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