nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
