Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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