Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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