So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize