Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
