Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
