its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
True but thats because hes a fetus.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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