Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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