I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
