The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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