I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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