Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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