Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
