Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
that is very illegal...i love you.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
