One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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