I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
