love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
