She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize