i permit you to call me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
