he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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