How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I want to have your abortion
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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