these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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