I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My pussy is not your playground.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize