So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
