Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
