Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize