Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize