Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
