Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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