can we get nightvision for the apartment?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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