There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
