have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
