you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
