Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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