And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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