I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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