They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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