Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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