his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize