Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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