Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
