One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
