Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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