why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize