Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
