She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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