omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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