I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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